KnowThyNeighbor.org

Gay Dads Adopt 6 Kids; Foster Parents to 21

On Oprah today:

When Texas couple Mark and Andy decided to start a family after 13 years together, they knew it wouldn't be easy.

The couple decided to apply to be foster parents. "There were a lot of children out there needing families," Andy says. "We figured, why not us?"

After they submitted their application to an agency, they received shocking news. "The agency director called us and said no state case worker would ever place children in a gay or same sex couple home," Andy says.

Devastated but still determined, Mark and Andy found a second agency that accepted their application. "It was the first glimmer of hope that we were going to be able to start our family," Mark says.

Grateful for the opportunity, they opened their home to the children no one else wanted. The couple cared for children of all races and needs, including autistic children, sexually abused children and children who had been severely neglected. "Our first year at the [agency we were working with] we were named foster family of the year," Mark says.

Now, kids who were desperate for a home have a family to call their own. In their five years as foster parents, Mark and Andy have fostered 21 children and have adopted four—Marcus, Monique, Clyde and Faith. They're now in the process of adopting James and Layla.

After living in two other foster homes, the couple's oldest child, James, came to Mark and Andy when he was 11 years old. "My dads are totally perfect," he says. "They're everything I could ever want and then some."

With six kids at home, Mark and Andy's days are hectic, but they wouldn't have it any other way. "I know without a shadow of doubt that there are these six little souls in my house that are no longer lost," Mark says.

Mark and Andy say they are fortunate to live in a very supportive community. "Basically, we know all our neighbors and we're treated very well like any other family would be," Mark says.

It also helps that Mark's mom lives right across the street! "That's wonderful for us. She's our little emergency babysitter," Mark says. "She's their mom, too."

Read more on Oprah's website.

Aaron Toleos

News Flash--Larry Cirignano, Alleged Assaulter of A Woman, Gets Promoted to Washington, DC

Even Though He Awaits Criminal Court Hearing For His Alleged Assault on Female Equality Supporter, Larry Cirignano Blessed with Promotion By Catholic Citizenship

With this "News Flash" I wish I could tell you more, but it was brought to my attention last night by a media source that an alleged memo was sent by Phil Moran, Attorney in Salem, of Catholic Voice which announces the appointment of Larry Cirignano to a Washington, DC-based organization which will work to fight against same-sex marriage on a national level.  Attorney Moran is one of the original signers of the anti-same sex marriage petition here in Massachusetts, successfully defended a priest who was accused of molesting a boy in a Chelsea parish between 1981 and 1983, and is well-lauded and used by Ray Flynn for his legal work at Catholic Citizenship.

The Catholic Hierarchy rewarding or elevating an insider who is under criminal investigation and involved in scandal??  Shocking!!  Didn't that happen to that "Prince of Europe" otherwise known as Cardinal Law when he was under scrutiny for his alleged invovlement in the Clergy Sex Abuse Scandal?  Remember Cardinal Law?  The Catholic Church would wish you to "forget about him."  That is unless you are one of the Faithful who went to Rome witness Pope John Paul II's Memorial Service in which Cardinal Law was awarded a leading role.  The rest of us may just visit Law at one of the most important churces in Rome to which he was assigned for his "hard work for the Church"--Patriarchal Basilica of St. Mary Major.  Regarding this sort of "old boy networking" the Catholic Church has not changed very much over the millenia even though its stance on marriage has.

To Read more on the Larry Cirignano elevation, keep close eyes on the Worcester Telegram and Gazette on-line. And while you are there, consider writing a response to today's letter to the editor by Christine D. Toloczko who objects to being called "mean-spirited, a bigot, prejudicial and/or divisive..." 

Tom Lang, Co-Director

Who Gave Money to VoteOnMarriage.org

The Office of Campaign and Political Finance Has Released the List of Individuals and Businesses Which Contributed to VoteOnMarriage.org, the Ballot Question Committee Whose Director Referred to Gays as "The Forces of Evil"

• List of 2006 Contributors
• List of 2005 Contributors

As timely as the the Oscar Nominations, so is the release of the list of individuals and businesses which contributed to Massachusetts Ballot Question Committees in 2006.  For a report one can look to Ethan Jacobs' BayWindows column this week or look over the list directly from the Commonwealth's Office of Campaign and Political Finance (OCPF).

Of particular interest to the Gay Community and supporters of equality is the publicly reported file of VoteOnMarriage.org which is itself a Ballot Question Committee solely.  A Ballot Question Committee is established to see the passage or failure of a particular ballot question and is required to list annually its financial intake and expenditures and to publicly list the names of contributors.  VoteOnMarriage.org is the ballot question committee which is sponsoring the amendment to stop same-sex marriage in Massachusetts.  The Massachusetts Family Institute which is headed by Kris Mineau is also against same-sex marriage and works closely with VoteOnMarriage.org is a "not-for-profit organization."  So you know also, "KnowThyNeighbor.org Ballot Question Committee" is registered and reports yet we mostly are organized as "KnowThyNeighbor.org" as a non-profit.

VoteOnMarriage.org spent (in cash and in kind contributions) nearly $ 450,000 in an attempt to hurt families by segregating gays and lesbians via constitutionally enshrined discrimination.  But of course, VoteOnMarriage would undoubtably say that they are only organized to promote democracy and to show "love" for the gay community.  So, who and how much?? Focus On The Family (i.e.James Dobson) gave $ 75,000 and Citizens for Community Values (an FOF affiliate) gave $ 50,000.  Locally, The Coalition for Marriage which is made up of MFI, The Mass Catholic Conference, Catholic Citizenship, Mass Citizens for Life and the Knights of Columbus donated $ 40,000. 

Personal Donations to VoteOnMarriage included $ 200 from Cardinal O'Malley himself which paled in comparison to private donors such as Andrew Mills of Winchester for $ 30,000 , John McNeice of Canton for $ 26,600 , Kurt Kelhacker of Cambridge for $ 15,000 and John DeMatteo of Wellesley (Park Square Realty 508-628-0672) for $ 10,000.  Walter Weld of Dover (husband of a Selectwoman) also gave $ 2000.

And the businesses which contributed to VoteOnMarriage.org and were part of this public list include Breuer & Co., Wakefield; Ebenezer Home Care, Lexington; Gabrielson Contract Sales Company, Lexington; I-Con Electrical, Reading; JDKent Inc. Easton; Lira Electric, Acushnet; O'Brien Commercial Properties, Berlin; Pyne Sand and Stone Co. Inc., Douglas; and The Sturbridge Veterinary Hospital.  These contributions came from business accounts NOT individuals that listed a business as an employer.  KnowThyNeighbor called one particular business, The Sturbridge Veterinary Hospital of 6 Cedar Road in Sturbridge, MA (508-347-7374) and spoke with Joanne Maketansky.  Joanne whose husband is one of the veterinarians at this Hospital is apparently an owner and admitted to writing the check to VoteOnMarriage.org.  Mrs. Maketansky told KnowThyNeighbor that she describes herself as "a Bible thumping Christian" and was completely aware that she could have written a personal check but told me that her veterinarian hospital as a business "represents her beliefs"--which are against same-sex marriage.  However, Mrs. Maketansky told me that her staff and other veterinarians at her facility would know "nothing about this."  Maybe it is about time they knew who they work for. 

In a forty minute conversation Mrs. Maketansky was concerned that I was "trying to hurt her business" but I assured her that we all make personal choices in our lives "including" where to spend our money or where NOT to spend our money.  KnowThyNeighbor.org gives people the opportunity to make informed decisions and I know what choice I would make if my Italian Greyhounds needed to see a vet in Sturbridge, MA.

I also gave The Sturbridge Veterinary Hospital the opportunity to issue a statement in response to this blog, the BayWindows column, and/or its position on the ballot question which would take away equal rights from gays and lesbians.  Mrs. Maketansky said that she would try to fax something over but she is "extremely busy."  Not too busy to, as she told me, "pray to God to ask Him to tell her which 'charities' to contribute money to" or to ask me if "anyone had ever read the Gospels to me" and if I was "familiar with the Bible."  Does anyone know where I can find a bunch of those red and white ribbons pictured in the photo above?  I know quite a few people who should have one. 

It is definitely time to politely contact individuals and businesses and "respectfully" tell them what equal rights means to you and your family.

Tom Lang, Director

Kris Mineau of Anti-Gay Massachusetts Family Institute Is the Quintessential "Wolf In Sheep's Clothing"

Anti-Same Sex Marriage Groups Call For Dialogue to Be More "Civil"

Kris Mineau, President of the Massachusetts Family Institute and board member of its ballot question committee VoteOnMarriage.org is calling for a more civil dialogue, "not on the debate of same-sex marriage" but on the way that "both sides need to conduct themselves."  This press release by MFI and the subsequent BayWindows interview with Mineau came at the same time that Pro Equality Leaders including KnowThyNeighbor.org, The Anti-Violence Project and The Religious Coalition for the Freedom to Marry sponsored a Candlelight Vigil To End the Violence and Hate which is being spewed at the Gay Community.

Mineau claims to have a great relationship with the RCFTM and MassEquality and actually calls Marc Solomon, MEQ's Director out as a gentleman.  His problem seems to be with KnowThyNeighbor and its "stormtroopers" as he calls the pro-equality supporters which were present at Mineau's Democracy Rallies last month.  The same rallies that anti-gay Catholic Citizenship's Larry Cirignano assaulted Sarah Loy while she held a sign against discrimination--all within clear sight of Kris Mineau and other MFI leaders.

I find Mineau's use of Nazi terminology to describe gay people and equality supporters deplorable however typical when trying to make the victims appear to be the aggressors.  This tactic was often employed, yes by the Nazis, to turn a nation and its people against the Jews.  The Jews were blamed for everything including The War itself as this propaganda poster from Hitler's Germany shows (translation, Jews, the inciters of war the prolongers of war).  I want you all to look at a series of historical essays at this link also. Strategies have not seemed to change much.  Today, Mineau likes to further denegrade gays by using tactics such as claiming that "gays control the legislature," "gays control the courts," "gays have more money than straights," and "gay money is coming in from around the country" to peg us as the "evil ones."

But Mineau's logic right now if one reads into his "cry for dialogue" is even more calculated.  Mineau is calling for the gay leaders, Arline Isaacson and Marc Solomon to join in some sort of future forum to call for civility.  Even Solomon sees this as a ploy to take the public's eye off of the anti-gay side.  But I hope that Marc and Arline understand what Mineau is doing.  By segregating KnowThyNeighbor and the voices of the empassioned equality supporters from "the gay leadership", Mineau is trying to clean up his playing field--making this a battle between the gay lobby, MassEquality (and its messaging) and the anti-gay lobby.  The last thing Mineau wants is real people crying fowl, real gays and lesbians and their families coming out and protesting and advocating.  Mineau wants the "human" element removed and to make this a play of press conferences, post cards, emails and photo ops.  The anti-gay side is losing support as we have seem in MFI's "Democracy Rallies."  And the only ones left seem to be the most desparate, the most angry and the most offended when we hold a mirror to thier faces.

There will be more to this to come but right now the call for gays, lesbians, transgenders and bisexuals is to be visible.  This is not right what they are doing to us and you MUST BE OUTRAGED.  Kris Mineau cannot be allowed to silence us nor should any fear (from our gay leadership) be allowed to silence us either.

Take a good look at the graphics in Ethan Jacob's BayWindows column which show the quotes coming from "the clergy" who support Kris Mineau's organization.  This is just the tip of the iceburg of thier hate and bigotry and insidious rhetoric.  And take a step back and understand the reality... 

We say, "We Want Equal Rights."  They say, "Gays Destroy Families."  We say, "Don't Amend the Constitution with Discrimination."  They say, "Same-Sex Marriage is the 9-11 of Modern Society."  We say, "We Love Our Husbands and Our Wives or Our Boyfriends or Girlfriends."  They say, " Gays Relationships are Likened to That of Spinster Aunts or a Brother and a Sister Who Live Together."  We say, " We Want Marriage Equality."  They say, "If We Let Gays Marry, What Is To Keep People From Marrying Thier Dogs."

We should be outraged.  NO, WE MUST BE OUTRAGED!!!

Tom Lang, Director 

Governor Patrick References Gay Civil Rights in MLK Speech

Massachusetts' Corner Office Will Be A "No Place For Discrimination" Zone--At Last

At his speech yesterday at Boston's Faneuil Hall in honor of Martin Luther King Day, Governor Deval Patrick said that the civil rights struggle spearheaded by King for blacks during the 1950s and 1960s had grown to include other ethnic groups, such as Hispanics, as well as gays and lesbians. AND he reiterated his criticism of the initiative to place on the Massachusetts ballot a ban on gay marriage, which the Supreme Judicial Court approved in 2003.

Governor Patrick said, "Today in Massachusetts, the use of the initiative petition process, to insert discrimination into the constitution, to limit individual freedoms, is unprecedented, and I'm going to do my best to encourage us not to do that." Patrick then told reporters afterward at Faneuil Hall.
"Whatever your views about marriage equality, whatever they are, we are on the brink of using a ballot initiative to enable the majority to tell the minority just how much equality they may have."

Well, well, well...much different than the LAST Governor who will go un-named in this blog entry as ENOUGH has been said of him lately. I still have a vivid picture in my mind just after the last ConCon as KnowThyNeighbor volunteers were standing outside of the Executive Office. Remember, this was January 2nd, which was TWO DAYS before (which seemed like two years) Governor Patrick would be sworn in. We witnessed the parade of dark souls with their smug expressions exiting this office just after the Legislature voted (for the first and last time) to put the anti-same-sex marriage petition on the ballot. The Ex-Governor was holding court of his fellow anti-family forces. I witnessed the exiting and foolish banter of Kerry Healey, then came Tom Shields (MFI Director), then Kris Mineau, then his wife Lula, then a KTN favorite Bronwyn Loring, then of all people Larry Cirignano of the Catholic Citizenship (still awaiting his criminal trial for assault against an equal marriage supporter). How smug they all were and I did talk to a few of them, including Larry.

It seems that "homelessness" in Massachusetts might be on the rise now that Deval Patrick is Governor. At least an increase by these six people who will no longer be able to "find a home" in the Governor's office in which they can nurture and further their master plan of hurting our families and creating a second class of citizenship for the LGBT Community. Governor Patrick has a great voice, one for speaking and understanding that equal rights and dignity should be available to All Citizens. But I know him to have a great singing voice too. Would it be alot to ask our new Governor to sing "Hit The Road Jack" next time he sees Kris Mineau and his band of bigots in the State House?

To Thank Governor Patrick

And Call Him 617-725-4005

Tom Lang, Director

KnowThyNeighbor Urges Kris Mineau To Join Brian Camenker in Coming Out of The Closet

We Are Asking Kris Mineau, Director of the Massachusetts Family Institute To Finally Admit That He Is Anti-Gay

Enough already!  The Massachusetts Family Institute's Director and Spokesperson, Kris Mineau has announced an "Initiative To Promote Mutual Understanding and Dialogue On Same Sex Marriage" at the same time that our Candlelight Vigil to End Violence took place in Boston last Wednesday.  Mineau says that both sides "owe civility" to voters and the Associated Press is reporting that these same-sex marriage opponents do not want to be called "bigots" or "haters."

Ray Flynn, President of the Catholic Citizenship, whose Director Larry Cirignano awaits a criminal assault trial for his alleged attack on same-sex marriage supporter, Sarah Loy last month also had something to say.  Of course falling far short of taking ownership of his side's aggression in Worcester for which our vigil was a response, Flynn said, "Prominent religious and political leaders on both sides of the issue need to step forward to publicly discuss the issue with each other. That would marginalize extremists and change the tone of a debate the public needs to have."  and that what you're doing is sending a message to people on both sides of the issue that there's openness, there's dialogue, there's respect."

Of course this was obviously a PR stunt in damage control to take the eyes of the Commonwealth off of the Candlelight Vigil that the gay side sponsored in response to a physical attack perpetrated by Mineau and Flynn's side.  And also it was a apparent exercize in propaganda.  "Respect and dialogue?"  I think someone needs to remind Mr. Mineau and Mr. Flynn that the time for "respect and dialogue" has long since passed.  The Massachusetts Family Institute, The Catholic Citizenship, VoteOnMarriage and others lost any chance of being considered respectful of the gay community when they publicly referred to us as " the forces of evil," to our marriages as "the 9-11 of modern society" and began this insidious drive to change our Commonwealth's Constitution so that we will never be able to protect ourselves and our families.  If anything, the gays should be calling for an immediate apology and calling for an end to this hate crime aka the ballot initiative to define marriage.

So Kris Mineau et al do not want the gay side to refer to the anti-gay side as "haters" or "bigots."  Kris has always been quite polite to my face when I see him in public.  But behind closed doors he is busy plotting out the end of my marriage with his Dominionist buds like Mitt Romney and James Dobson.  Kris, it is far time that you embrace the inner you and finally come out of the closet.  Trust me you will be a happier person for it.  Nurture your inner bigot like Brian Camenker of MassResistance who recently criticized Mitt Romney for not being "anti-gay enough."  Maybe your sidekick at the Mass. Family Institute, Evelyn Reilly, can help you in your journey to self-acceptance as the bigot that you are.  Evelyn recently admitted that she felt gays were "mentally deranged."  Way to go Evelyn!!  Maybe you can be Kris' sponsor.

Tom Lang, Director

 

Candlelight Vigil Against Violence

A Call for Dialogue to Stop the Hate and Promote Peace and Respect

Wednesday, January 10, 2007
6:30 PM, Boston Common
Corner of Boylston & Tremont

Co-sponsored by:

The Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project,
The Religious Coalition for the Freedom to Marry,
The Massachusetts Gay and Lesbian Political Caucus,
The Fenway Community Health Center Violence Recovery Program,
Knowthyneighbor.org. This is a call to stop the hate that led to violence in Worcester,
when the Executive Director of Catholic Citizenship verbally and physically assaulted a pro-marriage equality supporter. Join us as we call for peaceful, respectful dialogue between pro and anti-marriage equality supporters. We seek an end to the type of verbal and
physical attacks that occurred in Worcester on December 16.

Visibility Should Be The LGBT Community's Main Focus Right Now

Now Is NOT the Time To Fundraise, Now Is the Time For the LGBT Community  To Be As Visible As Possible And To Be Aggressively Promoting Dialogue

I just do not understand the mentality behind the "leadership" in the LGBT Community at this very important and serious time to not inform our entire community about the nature and dynamics of what is happening at the State House since the January 2nd Constitutional Convention.  Instead we read the plea by BayWindows to contribute more and more money to our gay lobby and recently I have noticed a MassEquality tag advertisement for donations on BlueMassGroup's homepage.

Money is not the answer right now and as a matter of fact, asking for more donations at this time is extremely reckless. It is so easy to fall into the trap in thinking that if I write a check, someone will do the work for me and tomorrow everything will be just peachy.  This is THE BIGGEST MISTAKE we can make!! 

What our community needs to do IMMEDIATELY (and that means every one of you) is to become as visible as possible.  I have received hundreds of emails in the last few days asking KnowThyNeighbor to provide talking points and yard signs and bumper stickers.  YOU and your family and your friends ARE your talking points and yard signs and bumper stickers--you always have been.  Donating money to KTN and receiving a bumper sticker will NEVER be as effective as you personally calling a neighbor, taking your husband or wife by the hand and knocking on friends door and saying, "you need to help us right now," or holding your children in your arms next time you are dropping them off at school and walking up to another parent and explaining that soon, your family may not be protected anymore.

What has happened in the State House leading up to January 2nd and will continue to transpire until the next Constitutional Convention is very interesting.  The legislators are doing exactly what the legislators do best--they are working with each other, trying to pursuade each other to do the right thing.  There is a dynamic and a balance being played out which has little to do right now with MassEquality or even the MGLPC and I hope that these two will acknowledge this fact.  The push for recess and adjournment by MEQ, the MGLPC and the (pre) Governor Patrick seriously disrupted this legislative dynamic.  It recovered and the LGBT community has found many friends among the Senators and Representatives who are committed to stopping this nasty hateful amendment in its tracks.  But right now our lobby needs to sit tight and to stop telling the Legislature what to do AND it needs to stop trying to control the LGBT Community. 

Every one of our activists need to get the community at large unified and motivated.  WE MUST BE VISIBLE EVERYWHERE and talk about what is happening to us.  My husband and I and our friends have committed to wear a pink triangle everyday and to never take it off as a symbol of visibility and awareness of what is happening to the LGBT Community right now.  The response has been amazing--the straight community understands EXACTLY why we chose to use this symbol.

Of course it is important to tell the legislators "THANK YOU" for their AGAINST vote on the merits of the marriage amendment--they need these calls and emails coming from you and your family and friends right away.  If you live in districts where your Representative or Senator was one of the 62 who voted for the amendment, then email this Legislator, call this Legislator, protest when this Legislator appears at a town meeting or community function, and for God Sake bring your family and friends.  Do not think to tell Tom Lang, Alex Westerhoff or Aaron Toleos that you could not find enough people to help.  At a community event a protest by two or three people can make a difference--I know this from experience.

Now GET BUSY!!!!!!  Take digital pics and send them to me tom@knowthyneighbor.org  Your personal activism will motivate others!

More to come on this topic.

Tom Lang, Director   

Anti-Gay's Yell Hip Hooray!

This was the celebration in front of the State House immediately after the second vote at the ConCon on January 2.  Shown at half-speed.

And here's what they do when they are angry:

Gay man beaten by VoteOnMarriage Supporter at November ConCon
Angry shofar blowing after losing vote in November
VoteOnMarriage Leader Assaults Female Counter Demonstrator

 

Aaron Toleos, Director
(978) 821-4620