KnowThyNeighbor Accused of Preventing Dialogue

Pressure tactics subvert dialogue

Gloucester Daily Times Editorial

Those who call for parents to be allowed to know what their children are being taught in public school are purveyors of "hate speech."

That is the absurd message from Know Thy Neighbor, a pro-gay marriage group that, sadly, relies on intimidation rather than dialogue to promote its dogmatic philosophy that anybody who disagrees is a "hater."

Sadder still, the group's intimidation tactics have now shut down a chance for dialogue in Gloucester between those of different views.

Cape Ann Marriage and Family, a group that has been active in seeking a statewide referendum on gay marriage, had planned a meeting this Saturday at Valentino's, a Main Street pizza parlor, that was to feature a lecture by David Parker of Lexington.

Parker is suing the state for the right to be notified when issues regarding sexuality, including gay marriage, are taught in his young son's school. His case was initially dismissed but is on appeal.

His complaint arose in 2005, when his 5-year-old son came home from school with a children's book that portrayed families headed by same-sex couples.

This, in the view of Know Thy Neighbor's Tom Lang, of Manchester, means that Parker finds "the mere existence of gay people" to be harmful to children - a vast distortion of Parker's complaint.

Lang contacted Armando Marnoto, co-owner of Valentino's, and told him that if the restaurant hosted the meeting, Know Thy Neighbor might organize a protest.

There is some dispute about why the event will not happen there. Marnoto says it is because Cape Ann Marriage and Family had not confirmed the event or made a deposit. The group says it was due to pressure from Know Thy Neighbor.

But the Know Thy Neighbor tactic is typical. During the petition drive seeking to put gay marriage on the ballot, the group posted on its Web site the names of those who signed the petition. Lang claimed this had nothing to do with intimidation - a laughable assertion, since the whole idea was to help gay marriage advocates accuse any neighbors who supported the referendum of being haters.

Lang and others who object to Parker's message have every right to protest and oppose that message. But if they truly think they have a convincing case to make, they could do it much better by arguing the merits, rather than waving signs that hurl blanket epithets at those who disagree with them.

The glory of free speech is hearing all sides of an issue, not trying to shout down one side or another with absurd insults.

One wonders what Lang would do if his own young son came home with a book from school that declared that the only legitimate families were those headed by a father and a mother. Surely he would demand to know what his son was being taught, so he could argue his own case.

The issue, on the surface, is about gay marriage. But the deeper issue is parental rights. The topics could be war and peace, the environment, gun control or any of a host of others.

Does Know Thy Neighbor really think parents should have no right to know what their children are being taught in school? If so, that is a debate well worth having.

It is sad that it won't happen because some would rather intimidate than debate.

______________________________________________________________________

Important To Write Letters to the Editor

To Explain to All What Dialogue Is Really All About 

Tom Lang, Director Know Thy Neighbor

Comments

[John]

"It is sad that it won't happen because some would rather intimidate than debate."

Sounds like something that King George might have said about Sam Adams.

[ryan charisma]

This article sounds like Mad Dad Parker wrote it himself. Talk about a pointed artcle. Where are the facts? Why is the writer siding with Asshole Parker? This reeks of "Family Values." From now on, any group that has the word family in it I consider evil and the enemy.

[Lula]

I would respond by conveying my personal experiences on anti-gay violence and verbal harassment, which conveyed yesterday at KTN, saying flat out, "THIS is what you're teaching your children. THIS! And no, we're not going to take it anymore!!!"

**************************************

RYAN SAID:

"I would invite you to hang out for a few months with some gay men. Hear the horror stories, perhaps witness some verbal or physical abuse in public places."

RESPONSE:

Four years ago, on a summer night, in the South End of Boston where several shops and other establishments donned rainbow flags, I walked home from a night of dancing holding my then boyfriend's hand.

A Jeep Cherokee filled with what looked like college or post-college kids stopped about thirty feet away from us. The driver, a burly blonde loudmouth, shouted at us from the vehicle:

"You faggots make me fucking SICK!!! You should all get AIDS and be sent to a fucking island to die!!! I fucking hate you!!!"

verbatim

My boyfriend and I kept walking as I responded, "blah, blah, blah."

His response was to turn the vehicle off and start to get out of the car. A few of his passengers, all female, pleaded with him to get in the car and to not pursue us.

The moment was intense and I was scared out of my mind, as the guy looked like he could have been a linebacker.

Had those girls not been in the car, he most certainly would have come after us and beat the crap out of us. He was rageful and determined. His friends prevented what I know would have been a physical gaybashing.

All I could think of was my friend out in California who had been hit over the head by a pipe and severely beaten by a trio of thug punks who just had it out for gays.

Another friend's friend was beaten up one Saturday night after exiting a gay dance club.

I've certainly had several other incidents of being verbally assaulted by asshole bigots.

Again:

""You faggots make me fucking SICK!!! You should all get AIDS and be sent to a fucking island to die!!! I fucking hate you!!!"

******************************************

Where did that college kid learn this hatred? From the David Parkers of the world.

And I'd bet money that it started at home!

[Jane Know]

"You faggots make me fucking SICK!!! You should all get AIDS and be sent to a fucking island to die!!! I fucking hate you!!!"

It's sad that that is still a semi-acceptable thing to say for many people. And that many more will stand idly by and not say a word to stop it.

When I was in college, my homophobic roommate, who had just found out I was a lesbian said while watching tv one night, "Ew gross, are those lesbians? I bet they have AIDS." That was in the year 2000. The amount of ignorance and hate that is still out there is astounding.

[John Howard]

You knew a girl that wasn't pro-gay? I've never met a girl that didn't claim to be willing and interested in lesbianism.

[John Hosty-Grinnell]

Really? Ask your mother.

[John Howard]

Even my mother expressed interest, musing about what her life would have been like if that was an option back in the 40's. I've never heard one woman say "ew, gross" about the idea of being with another girl, universally, all women I've known say they are bisexual. Now, anyone may freak out when they find out their roomie is gay, because that isn't a fantasy, that is your fantasy dashed on the rocks and made gross in front of you. Maybe that would happen to most girls that profess to be bi, I don't know.

[John]

I've never heard one woman say "ew, gross" about the idea of being with another girl"

I've met more than a few, my wife included.

[John Howard]

You married a homophobe? I bet the context was pretty specific, if she said that. Maybe you were suggesting a threesome with someone she didn't like? I've never met a girl who wasn't proud of her open-mindedness, at least in the abstract, and usually in the concrete, mentioning some fun experience in her past.

[John]

Nothing like that at all. My wife simply doesn't like gay people.

[Lula]

Well, unless they're served well-done in a nice cream sauce.

[John]

As a former cannibal, I can relate to that.

[Lula]

Ooo. Then maybe I shouldn't have told you to bite me.

[John]

Yeah, up until now, my cannibalism has been kept well under control.

[Jane Know]

A lot of my friends who are heterosexual women find the idea of sex with another woman gross.

But I agree that there seem to be many women who have "thought about it" once in a while. Or more. Especially the more accepted gay and lesbians become in our society. People are much more willing to admit that they are at least curious about it.

The particular college roommate I was referring to came from a very religious family (surprise, surprise), and was just really mean about gay people in general. I (and several others) think she was actually a closet lezzie who was bitter because it would never be acceptable in her family if she "came out."

[Lula]

Kind of a cool site, guys:

http://www.vajoe.com/candidate_calculator.html

VA Joe matches you up with the candidate who most supports what's important to you, after you've answered a brief questionnaire...

Check it out...

[John]

Yikes!

I wound up with Gravel but only at 13%. Mitt Romney came in a close second.

I think I'll send out for some heroin.

[John]

Ah, I misread the results. I am not even close to Romney. I feel stupid now.

[Lula]

Mine were:

1. Kucinich
2. Gravel
3. Clinton
4. Edwards

Romney was fourth to last.

John, you scared me there for a second!

[ryan charisma]

This is who I apparently am supporting

In this order:

Kukinich
Biden
Obama
Edwards

Hmmmm.

[John]

I get:

Gravel
Kucinich
Obama
Richardson

[Lula]

hey, ryan!

[Jane Know]

Kucinich
Edwards
Clinton
Richardson

were my top matches.

[John Howard]

Gravel
Romney
Guiliani
Kucinich

Weird, huh?

[John Howard]

Gravel
Obama
Kucinich
Richardson

Ah, made the same mistake. I guess since I said opposing SSM was a "high importance" and most candidates also oppose it, it doesn't make much difference on this test. And so I think ANWR and other answers that weren't important ended up adding up.