Can We Really Trust MassEquality?

Activist Tom Lang of KnowThyNeighbor Sets The Record Straight, Exposing What  MassEquality Is Capable Of And Begging The Question, "Can MassEquality Really Be Trusted To Serve The Entire Massachusetts LGBT Community?"  Part One

True Leaders Lead, they don't hire consultants to tell them whether or not they should...  KnowThyNeighbor is going on record asking the LGBT Community to think seriously about the continuation of MassEquality and its players as an intact organization. 

Has our community been well-served during the slash-and-burn mentality over the fight for Marriage Equality? Have the needs of ALL aspects of our community been met during the last four years--from minority issues to trans issues to hate crimes to schools, etc.?  Have MassEquality-loyal legislators shown leadership in other areas outside of marriage equality and can they be trusted to be open and understand the needs of our entire community?  Have smaller LGBT organizations been given a voice within MassEquality?  Will those organizations which suffered financially and with dwindling membership under the "rule" of MassEquality and the marriage fight be able to continue or resurrect themselves?  Is there a place in Massachusetts for grassroots activists if MassEquality is allowed to exist as it has and is given the power to define what the LGBT community means to it?  Does MassEquality understand what the LGBT Community is? 

These and more are very serious questions that we need to discuss before we, the LGBT Community, allow ourselves to be told what will become of US by MassEquality and its Board. 

It is my opinion that the MassEquality "leadership" and staff have already determined what it wants to do.  Everything from the World Cafe Forum last Monday (which I attended) to the MassEquality Celebration Party (already announced for December), which by the way is "right after" the Board's decision, are part of a calculated PR campaign hoping to ease the LGBT community into acceptance without criticism.  The best to date has been the plea email from Marc Solomon and David Wilson for volunteers of "people of color" which is an obvious admittal to the fact that the marriage issue has neglected a large part of our community and that MassEquality failed to reach out to ALL the LGBT.  The email reads, "become a leader of equality in the Black community and learn to engage members of your community in positive ways around marriage equality and sexual orientation."  But it gets better, this email goes onto say "Please help us reach out to more people, particularly those who have not previously been engaged with this issue, by forwarding this email to anyone you know who may be interested." 

I think MassEquality is being way to hard on itself regarding reaching out to minorities...wasn't one of those sexy, "gay" mannequins removed from the Macy's window back in Pride 2006 African-American?  MassEquality got heavily involved in that issue and doesn't that count for something?  If we had only seen such a response from MassEquality during the Puzzle's Lounge Hate Crime in New Bedford... 

KnowThyNeighbor is extending an invitation to leaders of other LGBT organizations, activists, concerned LGBT, concerned minorities and straight allies to stand up and be heard via the KTN blog. You are emailing and calling me, but I look for you to take a forthright stand.  I ask you to be frank and tell the public your concerns about MassEquality.  Hopefully, a true picture of the LGBT Community will emerge.  And maybe "someone" may just learn something...

Email your Op-Eds to me at tom@knowthyneighbor.org

Tom Lang, Director

Comments

[Stan]

Tom,

You said, "Have the needs of ALL aspects of our community been met during the last four years--from minority issues to trans issues to hate crimes to schools, etc.?" You asked for input. Well, here are my two cents...

From what I have seen, MassEquality, "a coalition of LGBT groups and their supporters", has been clear from the beginning regarding the sole mission of marriage equality. MassEquality was not formed as just another ‘gay rights group’, and it has never, to my knowledge, made any other claims to its purpose other than securing marriage equality for the LGBT community in Massachusetts.

I have been very impressed with the organizational impact, the political savvy, and the pure dedication of MassEquality. Different groups and segments within the LGBT community have different needs and goals. What has impressed me about this particular organization was its ability to find something that many of these different segments have in common (equal marriage) and the organization worked tirelessly, and with unabashed focus on that common thread.

I was never politically active until this issue came about in 2003. Now I know who my legislators are, and my husband and I are active in the political process. I am now “out” to all of my coworkers, family, and friends as a result of this fight for marriage equality. Those same coworkers, family, and friends are now more aware of LGBT issues that ever before – and many who were once homophobic or ambiguous are now active supporters of LGBT issues.

This is one thing that has always bothered me about the LGBT community: we are very quick to ‘eat our own’. We are so swift to attack each other, much like the squabbling bigots that we are fighting. I’ve seen it happen with attacks on HRC, and now it is happening to MassEquality. Let me put forth this question: Where would the LGBT community in Massachusetts be today without the leadership, focus, and dedication of MassEquality and HRC. Where would we be today? I can assure you that angry blogs did not get us to where we are today (and I love my angry blogs).

For those who think that not enough is being done for all of the LGBT community, I would suggest taking a step back in time. Perhaps we should all take a few steps back. It was not so long ago that my partner and I could not rent a one-bedroom apartment together, because the state of Mass had no laws preventing such discrimination. Today, my husband and I – my HUSBAND and I– we can live anywhere we choose without such fear of discrimination. This didn’t happen all at once. This took several years, a lot of fighting, some victories and lots of losses ... and, yes, many baby steps to get to this point.

Yes, we still have far to go for full LGBT equality, and we have many more baby steps to take. Baby steps, Tom, because in the real world we can’t get everything that we want, all at once, when we want it. The other side, the bigots, will never give up their fight. We have to continue sticking together and fighting for full equality. That fighting should not be amongst ourselves.

[Stan]

p.s.

Guess who would be even more elated if MassEquality disbanded ... how about MassResistance, the Coalition for Marriage and Family, and the Mass Family Institute?

[tom lang]

Dear Stan,

I will be once and for all be exposing everything that I and
KnowThyNeighbor went through at the hands of MassEquality. Things
that I would never have told our community while we were in the
marriage equality fight for fear of creating a great division. My
organization, its straight allies and all that KnowThyNeighbor did at
great personal expense were treated so poorly "by our own" (ie
MassEquality) and it is time to hear our side. And trust me, if the
wounds are to heal, if they can, we need to put it all the table.
KnowThyNeighbor is one of many.

[Tom Lang]

Stan,

With all do respect, you don't need to tell me or my husband or Aaron Toleos or his wife or many of our KTN bloggers about being politically active, about bigots, about the LGBT community "eating its own," or about working tirelessly...

Your comments seem right out of a "play book" and your omission of GLAD and The Caucus when you questioned where the LGBT Community would be now without MassEquality and the HRC makes your whole argument suspect. I suggest you freshen up your history lessons and while you are at it look up who we are and what we did (as an unpaid, all volunteer activist organization).

[Stan]

I probably hit your blog about five times a week. I’m not sure how effective the database postings was/is, but I certainly support and appreciate the concept. I also appreciate your coverage on the P-Town gay bashings, which may have otherwise, have fallen by the wayside. I think it is brilliant that you are reaching out to Florida and Oregon. I support you and KTN … I’ve even made two donations.

I’ve stood right along side you at the con-cons and at several rallies. It wasn’t you or MassEquality that obtained the permit at Springfield City Hall before the bigots did. It was just us ordinary folks, like us out here in Western Mass, keeping on top of things and doing a lot of very fast footwork. I stood next to you at that rally, and I was proud to do so.

Remember the hate-fest that Mitler had? Did you happen to listen to the videos on youtube of that very cold day? Well that voice that screams a very long “boooo” and very loud “bigot” … for a very long time… was me. I actually ruptured my vocal cord that day, and I was not able to speak for three weeks.

Also, my wedding invitations requested that, in lieu of gifts, donations were be made to GLAD … GLAD received over 70 donations and I did not get any blenders or toasters. Not only do I know about and support this incredible organization, one of the lead attorneys on the Goodrich case is one of our closest friends. She lives about a block from me, and her son enjoys playing in my back yard. I am also honored to include Gina and Heidi Norton-Smith, also of the Goodrich case, to be among the finest people that I know.

I say all this just to reason with you and to somehow get through to you that I am not against you. I find it odd that you think my “argument is suspect”, and that I need “history lesson”. My understanding is that the entire purpose of Know Thy Neighbor was to create dialog. Is “dialog” attacking those who don’t absolutely agree with your position?

I understand the frustration with MassEquality that different elements of the LGBT community may have. I know others who share that frustration. I just don’t think that attacking a one of the most successful LGBT organizations would have any benefit.

[John Hosty-Grinnell]

With all due respect for what you have done for equality Stan, you don't know all the little dirty tricks that MEQ has pulled. They have been incredibly devisive in our community, and we should not allow it to continue.

In my opinion, the best thing they could do is disband. Too many people believe that the leadership of this organization cannot be trusted. Once Tom Lang Puts forward all he will, you'll understand why.

If they truly wanted to make a difference, they could form a new coalition that represents ALL of the GLBT equally. Knowing how well the current leadership ignores other like minded groups, I think they have too much ego to think for the best interests of the people. I'm not fond of leadership that tells it's constituents, "We know what is best for you" without even hearing me out.

[Stan]

I guess I simply have different expectations of MassEquality than you. They have been clear-cut on their singular focus (equal marriage) since the beginning. I would not be against them changing, but I don’t believe that they have suggested that they will change, so I don’t have that expectation.

The marriage vote is very fragile, and I respect the position of continual focus on that issue, along with a focus on the political coalition that has been formed. Their singular focus, and their ability to gather the troupes has earned my respect and support. Likewise, I contribute to Soulforce because of its work with religious organizations around the country. I support Glad because of their focus on legal issues. I support the Western Massachusetts LGBT Political Alliance because of their work on a variety of LGBT issues.

Look at the coalition that votes for the board of MassEquality. Off their website: American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) of Massachusetts, Bisexual Resource Center, Freedom to Marry Coalition of Massachusetts, Freedom to Marry Foundation, Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD), Human Rights Campaign, Jewish Alliance for Law and Social Action (JALSA), LGBT Aging Project, Massachusetts Gay & Lesbian Political Caucus, Massachusetts Lesbian & Gay Bar Association, National Organization for Women (NOW), Massachusetts Chapter, Western Massachusetts LGBT Political Alliance.

And those are just the voting members ... the actual coalition is vast!

What a massive and powerful coalition! Are you suggesting that these groups stop working together for a common goal? Why not simply form another coalition to address the issues that you feel are important? I don’t understand the necessity of destroying an already successful LGBT organization. MassEquality strikes fear in the rightwing bigots. I applaud and support that!

[John Hosty-Grinnell]

There is no question that MEQ has been successful. My point is that they did not have to step on anyone's heads to do so, and that they could have done a much better job.

We don't need to leave the "T" out of GLBT. They also didn't have to attack KTN when Tom first started the website. They could have teamed up with us a lot more than they did, which was not at all.

Let me give you an example. That now fateful December 16th rally in Worcester where Larry Cirignano "escorted" Sarah Loy, That was an MEQ event. When we tried to support them and have KTN supporters at the event, they pulled their supporters out, and said they were spread too thin that day.

I am thankful for their success, what I have a problem with is their actions that have hampered GLBT potential. We could have been much more unified, and there were plenty of opportunities and offers, but MEQ decided to go it alone and kept us divided.

This is a decision that continues into recent times, and proves to me they do not represent my ideals for equality.

[Tom Lang]

Stan,

Thanks for identifying yourself, I do know who you are and applaud/respect all your hard work.

I feel it is a given that MEQ sticks around until the 2008 elections and any effort being made to repeal 1913 Law which will be a tough battle even in a Democratic run White House. If you don't know, national groups and the Dems have stopped Massachusetts from working on 1913 Law until the election (and I say that Hillary et al may continue the silence). Anyhow, I and KTN will support MEQ fully in keeping its promise to the LGBT community and the Leges working on the marriage issues--I made myself perfectly clear on that at the Monday World Cafe.

But what I was hearing from obvious "plants" that night and through intelligence I was getting directly from the mouth a a major MEQ player was that MassEquality is looking to move into other states, in New England to "bring marriage to others." That is all well and good, but has anyone asked the other states? Who is funding this? Is GLAD (who is working on this now) behind the MEQ takeover? Seriously, MEQ has Amy Mello who can be hired and should be hired by anyone who needs her expertise and commitment. The same with Scott (he is an amazing fundraiser) and would be a valuable asset to ANY organization--even outside of marriage issues.

The point of my blog and the ones you will be reading in the next week addresses not the "coalition" but the personalities of the paid "leadership" in MEQ. I do not believe that they and the intact orgaization are capable of moving into other areas of support for the LGBT community. KTN knows all too well. We were fortunate enough to be able to fight back and survive. Many other organizations were not able to do this. I would hate to see an organization like PFLAG or BAGLY or others open their doors to MEQ and to be controlled by personalities who would do their organizations major dis-service.

I have a suspicion that MEQ already has chosen what it wants to do and where it wants to go. The World Cafe, the letters to editors, the emails, the party, the public polling are all to be used selectively to justify their decision. We all used these tactics against our opposition and MEQ was the best at doing it, I suspect it is in play now on the LGBT.