Actually it was 7 P.M.Last week I received an interesting telephone call from John Russo, a representative of the Article 8 Alliance and an associate of the infamous Brian Camenker, asking me to dinner. I had debated Mr. Russo at Emerson College and I know him to be a nice guy, however, the first thoughts that went through my head consisted of illegal tape recordings via hidden wires ala "Fistgate" or some sort of ambush or even being shanghaied for "conversion therapy" at some Exodus camp hidden deep in the woods of Reading. So as soon as the fear subsided, I did what I always do, I brought a little humor to the situation and inquired of Mr. Russo if he was asking me out on a date. John laughed and said that in all his years he never had had "the inclination." Well, I am glad that we had cleared that up so early in our relationship...
Could the Director of KnowThyNeighbor.org, the organization which promotes dialogue on the topic of equal rights for the GLBT community, respectfully decline an invitation to open a dialogue? Funny how we get what we wish for...Of course I accepted the invitation. I was treated to a wonderful fare of salmon at Salem's Strega Restaurant. And this two and a half hour conversation ran the gamut from the first topic, three-some marriages in the Netherlands to that last very brief yet seemingly obsessive topic among Article 8 devotees, " fisting." Both of these could only be met with typical Tom Lang humor as I quickly ascribed them to heterosexual fantasy and fetish which made John laugh, but we did also discuss more serious topics such as the importance of positive influences on children, the need to understand and correct abusive behaviors and on the topic of marriage, that its impact on the GLBT community would be evolutionary as it was in the heterosexual community.
Did we come to any agreements? Yes. Did I agree that the gay community has its share of problems? Yes. Did Mr. Russo agree that the straight world has a huge amount of issues and problems too. Yes. Did either of us think that we would change the other? No. You see, John Russo, like so many others at Article 8 believe that being gay is a choice. And with that there is no debate or real discussion, only a wall that I was not able to tear down. But the importance of this dinner WAS the dialogue itself, not so much the topics. Mr. Russo told me that I was only one of three gay people that he had ever spoken to in deep meaningful conversation. Brian Camenker said a similar thing today in when I called him to tell him that I would be doing this post--and that says alot, don't you think?
Again I was hit with a humorous thought, though maybe it is more ironic than funny... When we sit with our opponents face-to-face and really, really talk... it is very hard for them even with their fears and prejudices to tell us that we are "going to Hell," or that we are evil, or that we are trying to destroy society as we often read in blogs and on websites. But this is where the irony kicks in...likewise it is very hard for us to look them straight in the eyes and to call them "bigots." So get out there and have those meaningful conversations ladies and gentlemen, face-to-face, and remember, this isn't about our opponents, this is about you. I leave you with that...
Tom Lang, Co-Director